Sunday, June 10, 2001

Introducing Poetry, Inc: ISO of 100 Poetry Snarkers!

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We're serious: Let 'er R.I.P.
_________________________________________________

Poetry, Inc, developed with nary a plan in mind and launched on June 10, 2008 (pay no heed to the year on this post), intends to take poetry snark to yet another level--

A lower level?

Who can say? We're too new to know...

Consider us the funny aunt or uncle to the more serious Poets.net...

Do you like humor, satire, parody, and just plain snark?

Do you believe that Poetry, Inc (a.k.a. the poetry establishment) has itself become a parody and is worthy of humorous jabs at its antics and perps?

Are you hankering to write comedy for Comedy Central or Conan O'Brien?

If so, apply to join Team Poetry, Inc. In the subject line, type "I Want To Join Team Poetry, Inc!"

We are in search of 100 snarkers (Blogger's absolute limit) to join our snark project.

We can't promise that your participation will lead to bigger and better things--in fact you may even end up on the Poetry Blacklist!

To apply for this double-edged honor, paste in your email a sample of your writing:
--Humorous/snarky poetry

--Humorous/snarky prose
Snark on!
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7 comments:

Anonymous said...

B=E=R=N=S=T=E=I=N

(119 Ways Of Looking At A Maverick)

1. I am the AUTHOR of 40 books,

2. ranging

3. from large-scale

4. collections

5. of poetry

6. To pamphlets, collaborations,
Libretti.

7. UNIVERSITY

8. Of Chicago Press

9. Harvard

10. UNIVERSITY

11. Press

12. Northwest

13a. UNIVERSITY

13b. Press

14. I am Donald T. Regan

15. PROFESSOR

16. Of English

17. And Comparative

18. Literature

19. UNIVERSITY

20. Of Pennsylvania

21. Co-founder and co-editor

22. And EDITOR

23. And co-founder

24. Co-editor

25. Book series

26. A=G=E=D

27. With Bruce Andrews

28. I edited

29. was anthologized

30. As The L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E Book

31. EDITOR of Louis

32. Zukofsky

33. who dreamed in the bathtub

34. Oxford

35. UNIVERSITY

36. Press

37. Politics of Poetic

38. Form

39. Miller Beer

40. An audio poetry anthology

41. I have edited

42. In PARIS

43. REVIEW

44. baseball cards

45. I was David

46. Gray

47. PROFESSOR

48. Of Poetry

49. And Letters

50. At the State

51. UNIVERSITY

52. Of New York

53. At Buffalo

54. And DIRECTOR

55. Of the Poetics

56. PROGRAM

57. Which I

58. Co-founded

59. With Robert

60. Creeley.

61. I was appointed

62. SUNY

63. Distinguished

64. PROFESSOR

65. (The UNIVERSITY'S

66. HIGHEST RANK)

67. Writer-in-residence

68. Visiting

69. FACULTY

70. Columbia UNIVERSITY

71. Bazooka bubblegum

72. Princeton UNIVERSITY

73. Brown UNIVERSITY

74. Temple UNIVERSITY

75. Bard

76. COLLEGE

77. New School

78. For Social

79. Research

80. Queens

81. COLLEGE

82. UNIVERSITY

83. Of California at San Diego

84. Guitar Hero

85. Associate FACULTY member

86. PhD Program

87. On Languages

88. Identities

89. Serves on the board

90. On advisory BOARDS

91. Arizona

92. Quarterly

93. Review

94. Anthology

95. A man's naked ass

96. APPEARANCES

97. Include

98. Norton

99. Body

100. Electric

101. Oven

102. I have collaborated

103. At the gallery

104. I have been published

105. IN OVER 500

106. Magazines

107. I have given

108. ABOUT 500

109. Talks

110. Elected a Fellow

111. PRIZES

112. Include

113. The 1999 Roy Harvey Pearce

114. DISTINGUISHED

115. Foundation Fellowship

116. I attended

117. Harvard COLLEGE

118. From which I

119. graduated

Anonymous said...

When Bin Ramke was a little baby,
Sittin' on his papa's knee,
Well he picked up a poem and another poem, too,
Said, "Contest gonna be the death of me, Lord, Lord!
Contest gonna be the death of me!"

Ramke had a judge for a contest,
Her name was Jorie Graham,
And when the winner was announced, who do you think it was?
Maybe it was Jorie's man, Lord, Lord!
Maybe it was Jorie's man.

But the judge it was a secret,
So nobody really knew,
Just another winner and just another prize,
And nobody cares about you, Lord, Lord!
And nobody cares about you!

Well, the man who invented the contest fee,
He thought he was mighty fine,
He made great poets out of all his friends
And there was money left for cheese and wine, Lord, Lord!
There was mony left for cheese and wine!

Anonymous said...

"THE" GUIDELINES

1. No feeding the moderators on Poets.org.
2. No crack cocaine at Colrain.
3. No Pongo jokes on P&W Speakeasy.
4. No bringing Jim Behrle to an MLA Conference.
5. No accusing Billy Collins and John Ashbery of writing prose—it’s poetry.
6. No hidden obscenities in your poems published in “Poetry.”
7. No sleeping with Paul Muldoon to get published in the "New Yorker.”
8. No inserting your poems into your best-selling novel—we’ll see through that.
9. No posting drunk on Poets.net.
10. No sleeping with David Lehman’s girlfriends.
11. No translating Russian poetry into Greek for sex.
12. No submitting third-world hooker poetry to Tupelo Press.
13. No non-soft-focus-photographing of Jorie Graham.
14. No work-shopping your bad poems. Quit it.
15. No work-shopping your good poems. What’s the point?
16. No earning more than 3 Poetry MFAs at one time.
17. No judging more than two dozen contests at once.
18. No sending Alan Cordle free copies of your remaindered poetry to buy him off.
19. No submitting poems to “Fence” magazine which you wrote when you were actually sober.
20. No selling fake autographs of Robert Pinsky for thousands of dollars on Ebay.

Daria said...

Great work.

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